Karate – Nicholas Walker

AutoB of a Short, Fat, Ugly Man: The Making of an Author

Nicholas Walker — Mon, 16 Aug 2021 20:47:29 +0000

I remember another incident much later on with Mr Griffiths. I sort of invented skiving off in about the third year but right back in the first year I stopped going to Geography. I hadn’t done a project as it was homework so as the teacher was very scary I hid in the toilets then I didn’t like to go back the following lesson and the more I stayed away the more the consequences piled up so the more I stayed away. I stayed away until the Fifth Form and then tragedy happened, Mrs Dark the teacher I was staying away from was tasked to write a report on me. She professed to having no idea who I was and I received the long awaited summons to Mr Griffith’s study.

He was standing there reading the report with a stunned expression on his face.

‘Walker,’ he said and now I knew I was in real trouble if he was calling me Walker.

‘Good Morning sir, and isn’t it a lovely one?’ I tried. He gave me a look.

‘You have been cutting Mrs Dark’s Geography lessons since the first year, correct?’

‘Spot on, sir,’ said I with nothing to lose.

‘I see. Well, as far as I can work out that means you have cut somewhere in the region of 348 lessons, yes?’

‘I can’t really help you there sir, I’m not very good at maths.’ I thought it better not to tell him I had recently been cutting Maths lessons as well.

‘Well, Nicknack…Walker,’ he said clutching at his forehead, ‘this leaves me with a bit of a problem. You see if a pupil cuts one lesson, they are made to copy up the whole lesson during detention.’

‘Seems fair enough to me, sir.’

‘Nicknack, shut up!’ he shouted losing it. He took a deep breath to bring himself back under control and after a minute continued in a more level tone, ‘For two lessons they are given the cane. For three they are put on home report.’ He lost it and started to dance around at this point, ‘I don’t know what the hell I am supposed to do about 348!!!’

I couldn’t think of anything to say that would improve the situation at this point. Now he seemed to have some sort of stroke and I watched him anxiously as he leaned over his desk fighting for breath, after all he wasn’t getting any younger. Gradually his bright red colour faded and he raised a trembling hand and pointed it at the door:

‘Go away you horrible boy!’

Like I said we all liked Mr Griffiths!

Autobiography of a Short, Fat, Ugly Man: A Kind of Immortality

Nicholas Walker — Sun, 15 Aug 2021 01:01:26 +0000

Apologies: I could read when I was three. It’s not unnatural, some children just seem to teach themselves to read, we think it’s by a process of copying adults and interpreting pictures. From the age of about six I was reading a book every day, that is finishing a book every day…a practice I have continued all my life. I’m not saying I read War and Peace in one day but I tend to finish an average sized adult’s book most days. When I was eight I was reading James Bond and books by Alistair McLean and Neville Shute. Mind you I was still reading all the children’s books as well, still do now: Bunter, William, Jennings, The Famous Five and all the others. I read all the heavy stuff in my teens and now regret wasting so much of my time digesting crap like Wuthering Heights and Tom Jones…give me a break. There is nothing in those old fashioned dirges that you cannot find ten times better in a modern book…literary insight my ass. Most of them were written by middle class virgins who knew nothing of life and the only reason they got published was because there were so few people writing during the last century. I took a year to read: The Fall and Decline of the Roman Empire, then there was Boswell’s Life of Johnson both of which were okay. Then there were all the Nordic folk tales and stuff like that. By the age of fourteen I had read the whole of Kingswinford Library half a dozen times. Then when I was thirty eight I was at Exeter University and a professor told us we should read the Aeneid if only in translation, I had always avoided it like the plague because it was in Latin. But I knew about the Aeneid from the Bunter books so I read it and wasn’t that impressed but while I was reading it I had a kind of revelation: I was reading words written by an ordinary bloke some 2000 years ago! A living, breathing man who maybe had just had an argument with his wife or had an upset stomach or was just feeling ticked off with the world. He was communicating with me over huge scans of time and appearing on my page as alive as he had ever been…the thought took my breath away, anything I read or indeed wrote was not limited by the mere lifetime of a man, it could go on forever…it was a Kind of Immortality!

Autobiography of a Short, Fat, Ugly Man: Tears in the Rain

Nicholas Walker — Sun, 15 Aug 2021 00:39:21 +0000

The final book in this series takes Nick right up to the time he had a breakdown and ran away around the world on the QE2. The eight years he was married to his beautiful second wife when he was to learn just how disarming looks can be.

Kicking the Crap Out of the Martial Arts

Nicholas Walker — Thu, 01 Oct 2020 19:37:55 +0000

This book is an analysis of the Martial Arts by a serious scientist and teacher. Nick Walker (Ph.D. MPhil. Dr.Ed. (AU) BA (Hons) (OU) BSc. (Hons) (OU) BSc.Ed (Hons) (Exon) NASM 6th Dan Karate AMA 1st Dan Jiu Jitsu) has been teaching Karate for over thirty years and is the founder and Chief Instructor of Kernow Karate the most successful independent martial arts organisation in the world. He is also a High School teacher and University Professor and is highly qualified in science. He has a degree from The National Academy of Sports Medicine in California and is a licensed fitness coach, a registered weight training instructor and a insured personal trainer. Nick makes his living by writing bestselling novels and now, despairing of all the pseudo nonsense that pervades the martial arts, all the old wives’ tales and nonsense science that damage the sport, Nick has finally responded by writing this non-fiction book so that other instructors who are genuinely interested in the science of the martial arts can bring themselves up to date…to become a Kernow Karate instructor you have to know all that is in this book! Nick takes all the basics and applies basic science to them: the stances, do they work? The Warm Up, is it necessary? What does it do? How to make your kicks and punches more powerful. How to break, how to do the Three Inch Punch, how to stretch. Does breathing matter? How does shouting effect the blow? He then goes on to explore how to improve martial arts moves: how to make your kicks and punches faster. How to make them harder. How to anticipate when an opponent is going to hit you and where. Proper scientific training techniques that the Olympic athletes all use. In the last third of the book Nick discusses the teaching of sport, the techniques and strategies that professional teachers have spent four years of university learning and he shows how most instructors are wasting the majority of their lesson time. He attempts to bring our most researched skill (education) into the martial arts: what is the attention span of an eight year old boy? What is the attention span of an eight year old girl? How best to teach a move…show it? Talk about it? Do it? Read about it? The answers will surprise and probably horrify those of you who are not professional teachers. He shows how to discipline, how to dominate a class without getting them to hate you, how mere body language can freeze an entire room. How to keep the members interested and the kids coming. And lastly, he shows you the dangers of teaching sport: how certain moves can injure a child but not an adult. Long term damage of the body. How to recognise certain illnesses and how to cope with them. How to protect yourself from inappropriate allegations. A serious book, written in a very light hearted, easy to read manner…an essential aid to anyone who wants to become a good instructor.

120 Lesson Plans From Kernow Karate

Nicholas Walker — Sun, 27 Sep 2020 20:31:28 +0000

Kernow Karate was created by Dr Nicholas Walker over thirty years ago and has become the most successful Martial Arts club in Britain. Creating a style based on fitness and self-defence with a strong scientific pedigree Nicholas has started up clubs all over the country which are continuing to flourish to this day.

Constantly striving to create interesting lessons with innovative training methods has added to the success of Kernow Karate.

These are 120 of the best of Nick’s lesson plans which promise to be: the latest in scientific knowledge, very beneficial for fitness, and most of all fun!

Kicking the Crap Out of the Martial Arts!

Nicholas Walker — Sun, 27 Sep 2020 20:21:19 +0000

Going Crackers in Kuwait

Nicholas Walker — Sat, 26 Sep 2020 20:40:45 +0000

One day we were going to a big market in Kuwait City. I was sitting in the front with Emad driving and in the back were Tammy and Steve, the English couple from the school. We were going through the outskirts and it was quite busy with pedestrians everywhere, almost like a Western city except the people would tend to wander out into the street without warning. And the cars come to that. Suddenly my gaze became transfixed. I sat forward. ‘Hat!’ I shouted. ‘Hat! Hat! Hat!’ Emad stared at me a concerned expression on his face. ‘Dr Nick?’ he said. ‘Stop the car…quick! Quick!’ I shouted flinging the door wide. ‘Pick me up just up the road!’ I pointed ahead and took off up the street. I ran quietly as I could in and out of the milling crowds and came up right behind the tall black African. He was wearing this huge, turban shaped, leather hat…ooo, it was magnificent! It had strings and buckles and a peak! I leapt high in the air, swept it from his head and took off like Usain Bolt. There came an outraged cry from behind but much faster than I expected I heard feet pounding in pursuit and more worryingly, others seemed to be joining in. I cut off into the road putting the hat on my head for safe keeping and the cries from behind became even more outraged. Then, just when things were getting a mite fraught the Caddy swung alongside and Tammy was holding the door open for me. I dived in and waved the hat out the window at my pursuers. Of course, Tammy and Steve were English so they didn’t deign to comment on my entirely understandable actions and Emad was doing his best to look relaxed but he kept shooting glances at my new hat. It was the following day before he finally broke, ‘Dr Nick,’ he said chidingly, ‘if you had wanted a hat that badly I would have taken you somewhere and bought you one!’

Kernow Karate Training Manual: 120 Lesson Plans

Nicholas Walker — Fri, 04 Sep 2020 01:33:26 +0000

Dr Nick was never that good at karate and he was always better with his mouth than his fists...but he knew all about the Science of the Martial Arts and he knew about teaching it too. But the thing he was best at was keeping the lessons funny and interesting! Here are 120 of his best lesson plans...120 innovative ways of teaching those boring basics!

Kicking the Crap Out of the Martial Arts

Nicholas Walker — Thu, 03 Sep 2020 21:02:23 +0000

Black Belt

Nicholas Walker — Wed, 02 Sep 2020 00:35:59 +0000

William swept his arm down and Jaimey went with it. She came screaming across the floor, leapt into the air and delivered a punch that deposited Terry flat on his back. ‘Now this is no time to have a lie down,’ Jaimey said. ‘What the hell do you think you’re playing at?’ William demanded. Terry was getting to his feet, blood pouring from his nose. ‘C’mon guv, I was just showing them how to score.’ ‘That’s not how to score and a blue belt should know that, you’d be disqualified anywhere for lack of control.’ Jaimey turned two huge brown eyes on William. ‘Honest guv, he ran onto it,’ she said innocently. ‘He must be Usain Bloody Bolt then,’ William said. He tried to examine Terry’s nose but the green belt shook his head and disappeared into the changing rooms. Sensei was still leaning on the wall, watching. William pointed a finger at Jaimey. ‘You: fifty push-ups,’ he said. ‘Without the gloves!’ Jaimey regarded him for a long moment. Everybody fell silent, feeling the clash of wills. A black belt carries authority and this was normal club discipline but, after all, it was William’s first night. At last Jaimey put her head on one side and smiled. ‘I can tell we’re going to get on,’ she said. Then, tossing her gloves into the corner, she started doing push-ups. Sensei smiled and wandered away. William started another two fighters, then Jaimey was standing at his side. ‘Fifty, guv,’ she saluted him. ‘The name’s William.’ ‘Righto guv, I’ll make a note of it.’ ‘You do go to school, don’t you?’ William asked. ‘On and off.’ She grinned. ‘And at this school do they teach Maths?’ ‘You know, I’ll bet you’re going to come to the point in a minute,’ she said brightly. ‘That was thirty eight, not fifty.’ ‘Sorry, anything above ten and I run out of fingers.’ ‘Well, if it’s all you can manage…’ he let the statement hang in the air. Immediately Jaimey got down onto her hands. ‘I can do push-ups faster than anyone else in this club,’ she said. ‘You count.’ William dropped down beside her. ‘No,’ he said, ‘you count.’ The whole dojo had stopped to watch by now. Jaimey started off pumping vigorously but William waited until she had reached twenty five before he started. She had just reached forty eight when he finished his fifty and spun effortlessly to his feet. Jaimey sat on the floor, red-faced and gasping for breath. ‘Now I’m going to try very hard,’ she panted, ‘but I don’t think I’m going to like you.’