Going Round the Bend on the QE2

€0,99

‘Did they handcuff you?’ demanded Daniella, delightedly.

‘You bet they did, handcuffs, hand on head, frantic ride through New York, frog march into the station, the lot’ I said.

‘Didn’t you try to explain?’ asked Paula.

‘No, I seemed to upset them when they were putting the handcuffs on, so I kept quiet after that,’ I said.

‘What did you say?’ asked Daniella.

‘I told them that I usually liked my handcuffs a bit tighter than that.’ The two girls looked at each other and sighed.

‘Anyway, it was all a blur, lots of people shouting and pushing me then all of a sudden I was standing in this room and there was this man in a white coat putting on a rubber glove in a sort of meaningful way.’

‘Oh, they didn’t?’ gasped Paula.

‘Oh, they certainly did,’ said I. ‘I think you’re laughing Paula?’

‘No, no,’ she said but lost control and sat there tears pouring down her face. Daniella had already gone and was lying with her face pillowed in her arms shaking convulsively.

‘It wasn’t so funny,’ I said, ‘when he dunks his hand in that big jar of Vaseline…well, I’m telling you, your whole life flashes in front of your eyes!’ This started them off again and I sat there staring reproachfully at my two Jobian comforters.

 

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Description

Written by a bestselling author this is the hilarious story of him having a nervous breakdown and running away around the world on the QE2! Unbelievable but absolutely true the author’s sensitive mental state gives him a different slant on world travel and the millionaires he mixes with. A truly different travel book which will have you laughing on every page. This is the true story of how the author cured a nervous breakdown by taking a world cruise on The Queen Elizabeth ll. It is a peep into the luxury lifestyle of the very rich from the somewhat sardonic viewpoint of someone who is not quite sane. We visit 40 countries and each one is treated to the author’s observations which are nearly always humorous and written by someone who’s fragile mental state causes him to throw all caution to the winds. But more than that, Nick isn’t your conventional world traveller: he gets arrested in New York and undergoes an intimate body search, he fights off three armed muggers in Jamaica, falls out with Australian customs officers, has a motor bike accident in Bali, is attacked by two old men in The Taj Mahal and is thrown out of Vietnam. The book, though, is more about his life aboard the QE2: his love affairs, his growing relationship with the staff and their intimate, closeted lifestyle, the disastrous staff concert that ends up in an all-out fight, the excesses of the super-rich passengers and the bizarre situations that only happen aboard such as the night where he is trapped on the dance floor with the three women he has been dating. All in all it is the story of a man making his way back to sanity until he is finally deposited back on the quay at Southampton where he started only now he is penniless and has just been informed that everything he owns in the world has been thrown overboard into the sea. The hilarious follow up is now available on Kindle: Going Insane in America, where Nick runs away to America to avoid his proctologist!

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